"Stress Free Holiday...Is it Possible?"

Tis this time of year when from my mouth are the contant words, YES, YES, YES , yes  I can come  to that holiday party, yes I can volunteer to help, yes we can go shopping again,  yes I can make all these homemade gifts for you, yes I can over commit, and then it hits me like a ton of bricks sitting on my chest, I am beginning to dislike the the holiday season.  That feeling of once it is over I will relax, if only, just wait.  Ugghhh I don't like to feel this way I start feeling like Ebenezer Scrooge and "Bah Hum Bug"which is so not what I want this special time of year.  Stopping the yes's is opening yourself up to a unbelievably rich holiday season.  Your cup begins to fill with warm rich cocoa, topped with fresh whip creme, sprinkled with dark  cocoa and a candy cane to stir it with.  So often I have learned by saying "YES" I am really saying "NO" to what means the most to me.

A coaching corner tip:
When you say "yes" today what are you saying "no" to?  Being conscious of your choices is the first step in creating a truly stress free holiday.

My "yes" today is going out to have a relaxing cup of coffee at my favorite coffee place with the man of my dreams.  My "no" is rushing to the stores this morning to pick-up a gift.  The gift can wait, the coffee can't.

"Letting Go"

I always struggle this time of year.  It comes in like the northern winds brisk and cool.  The air changes when the big yellow buses begin their routes.  The smell is different in the mornings, it is musky, cool, and damp.  I am reminded of the hallways of school.  You remember that smell as soon as you walk through the doors, propelling back, back to your childhood, back to your days at school.  But more than anything I dread this time because I have to let go.  Let go of the long hot summer days and cool nights, my children chatting throughout the day, the sounds of laughter echoing down the street, the subtle smack created from the flip flops throughout the house, knowing I am never alone, they, my beautiful three children, are only a holler away. Their voices to me are like the crickets at night, chirp, chirp, chirping away, energetic, excited, full of life.

This year was the hardest when that big yellow bus turned the corner, I had to let go of my little guy.  He is 6 now, a big boy, going to the big school, ALL day.  My daughters are seasoned veternans so saying good-bye wasn't as hard on the heart as when I saw my baby wave, trying not to cry, and kiss me good-bye.  He was so strong for what I could see was really difficult.  Holding my composure, I said good-bye, blew kisses, waved and stood there crying till I could no longer see the bus.  The heart is a beautiful part of us but when it hurts it truly physically hurts.  I grieved that day.  I grieved for all that was, the mommy and me days, the constant childlike chatter surrounding my ear canal throughout the summer, the energy my children bring to my life, the make believe stores created on the front lawn, the mid-week sleepovers, the flip flops, swimsuits, beach towels, chalk, and bikes strewn about showing the world, CHILDREN LIVE HERE TAKE CAUTION.

I love,  love,  love being a mom.  Being home with them for the last 11 years has been the best gift I could ever hope for.  I was there for it all.  I wouldn't change a thing.  Letting go wasn't easy and still remains hard at times but I know that I am letting them fly.  My daughter flew into middle school and is soaring like an eagle.  My second daughter is the robin watching over her little brother making sure he is ok and my little guy, he is like the little barn swallow continuously flapping till he reaches his destination.  So I let go, grieved, and truly believe my love will carry them throughout the day until they can once again be in my arms.

Mrs. Raccoon smiled.  "Now," she told Chester, "whenever you feel lonely and need a little loving from home, just press your hand to your cheek and think, "Mommy loves you.  Mommy loves you.' And that very kiss will jump to your face and fill you with toasty warm thoughts."...Chester loved his Kissing Hand.  Now he knew his mother's love would go with him wherever he went.  Even to school.

An excerpt from my favorite book, The Kissing Hand, by Audrey Penn.

When you let go of what was, you say "YES" to what can be.

"RISK....To Risk or Not to Risk that is the Question"

How does one determine if the RISK is worth the outcome?  It would be really nice if we had a simple equation:

G - R = P ...G is the ultimate Goal
                   R is the risk
                   P is the profit/ or desired outcome

 This equation could be the litmus test to whatever it is you want to achieve.  Unfortunately it isn't.  I confess I am not  mastered in the art of financial equations so I will keep this very simple.  Factors that I believe aren't measurable are the pluses. Those being: passion, perseverance, desire, never quitting, work ethic, freedom, drive, determination, visionary, innovation, and creativity.  This equation is GRP+

Now I am not saying to ignore certain financial equations but one must consider the ramifications if you don't at least risk a little.  Take the risk whether it is a little one or pretty big one because if you don't you will always wonder what it would of been like had you.

I jumped off that risk cliff today, my parachute opened, I landed softly.  My friend did too.  We officially decided to take the risk together and start our own business.  We will be basing our success on the GRP+  equation.  I will continue to write about this endeavor so hopefully you will see that taking a risk isn't that bad after all.  It is the place where the most wonderful life lessons can be learned.  What is your GRP+?


"This nation was built by men who took risks - pioneers who were not afraid of the wilderness, business men who were not afraid of failure, scientists who were not afraid of the truth, thinkers who were not afraid of progress, dreamers who were not afraid of action. " ~Brooks Atkinson

"What Stops US" A short saboteur story...

This is a story about saboteurs, you know the mind messages that stop us from moving forward.

Main Characters:
A slew of saboteurs
Me playing me
gate agent

Setting:  Airport Gate Check-in for the dream trip of a life-time


I have waited a lifetime for this trip.  Excitement is an understatement.  The brochure said bring only a carry-on because they will supply us with all of the necessary clothes.  So I pack my suitcase bringing all the essentials, shampoo, toothbrush, change of clothes, swimsuit, sunscreen, etc.   The only thing not packed is my nicely folded pile of saboteurs.  My suitcase is pretty full at this point so my heart rate begins to increase, "How am I going to fit this pile of saboteurs into my bag?"  Answer, "I just am."  I begin to stuff them in as nicely as I can rearranging the essentials, using every inch of my bag.  The first one in which is the largest of the pile, FEAR, 2nd one and almost as big, self doubt, then comes critic, the waiter (always waiting for just the right time), 5th one laziness, then  negativity, then the pleaser, and my final and favorite the avoider.    All neatly, though a little crammed, stuffed into my suitcase ready to depart with me on the dream trip of life-time.  Whew what a relief.  Next stop the airport.

Upon arrival I looked around to see if others had carry-ons busting at the seams, they did.  I breathed a sigh of relief, I am not the only one not wanting to leave without the essentials toothbrush, change of clothes and my trusted saboteurs.   I went to check-in at my gate and I was busted...
my bag was over the maximum limit allowed to carry-on.

Gate agent:  "I am sorry ma'am your bag seems  to be over the maximum allowed for carry-on"
Me: "Seriously?"
Gate Agent:  "Seriously, you are going to have to remove some of the items in your carry-on or you will be required to check your bag."
Me:  "I don't have anyone to give my extra stuff too. I can't check it in, I HAVE to HAVE my bag with me at all times."
Gate Agent:  "I am sorry ma'am it is policy.  Are there critical medications you will need during your flight that you can carry-on in your purse?"
Me:  "Well not really but kinda of."
Gate Agent:  "You are going to have to decide quickly as there are other passengers waiting to board.  I need to have the plane completely loaded within the next 15 minutes."
Me:  "I understand.  I will need a couple of minutes to figure this out."
Gate Agent: "Fine, next please."

My heart was racing, my hands were clammy, sweat was pooling on my forehead.  How was I going to decide what saboteurs I was going to take and leave ALL within 15 minutes.  I have carried them with me since I don't know when, ALWAYS.  I was probably born with them.  Out came me and out came my trusty saboteur friends.

 I stood there looking at my bulging suitcase barely able to be zipped shut, I closed my eyes, I took the deepest breathe I had ever taken, I let my chest rise and fall like the swell of an ocean.  Tears began to pool in my eyes.  I knew what to do.  I had faith.  I trusted.  I had everything I would ever need right inside of me.  I sat for just a moment gathered myself and walked back up to the gate agent with my ticket in hand.

Gate Agent: "Will you be needing a gate check ticket?"
Me: "No thank-you, I don't have any carry-on's."
Gate Agent: "Enjoy your flight."
Me: "Thank you, it is my first flight of a dream trip of a life-time."



Recommended books:
Positive Intelligence by Shirzad Chamine
Taming Your Gremlins by Rick Carson

"You Have an Idea Now What?" 10 easy steps

OK you have this great idea for a product, a service, a business now what do you do.  First congrats on embracing your creativity.  Celebrate the innovation that you are in possession of.  Take a deep breath and let it fill your soul.  So this idea you have could be the next sticky note, the next Apple App, the next ground breaking invention for eliminating all the store cards taking up prime real estate in our wallets.  So what do you do:

Step 1:  WRITE, WRITE, WRITE.  Write you ideas down.  Write down everything that comes to mind about your idea.

Step 2:  Create a list of ALL the goals you want to accomplish.

Step 3:  Enlist the help of those you trust the most.  Share your idea and ask for good honest feedback.  Be open, be attentive, be receptive. The more you talk about it the more you will begin to own it, feel it, and want to act on it.

Step 4:  Create a time-line.  What goals can you accomplish today, tomorrow, this month, 6 months, and 1 year.  WRITE THEM DOWN AND POST IT PUBLICLY TO share with your trusted confidants.

Step 5:  Write yourself a letter stating everything you want to achieve around your idea and have someone mail it back to you after a stated period of time (3-6 months works best)

Step 6:  Visualize your idea and put that vision somewhere you can see it multiple times a day.

Step 7:  Ask yourself the really hard questions as to what do I need to do to make this happen?  Think of all the potential roadblocks, obstacles that might stand in your way.  A trained coach can be very beneficial for this step.  Prepare a survival kit. 

Step 8:  Track your time and make sure you dedicate at least 1 hour a day six times a week to your idea (6 x 1 = Achievement).  Stay true to your schedule.  Having it the same time every day will create consistency.

Step 9:  Form a mastermind group consisting of individuals whose opinions you respect, meet bi-weekly or monthly creating a safe place for exploration and support. 

Step 10:  WORK REALLY REALLY HARD.  Realize that you are going to have to work for this dream.  Trust yourself and your instincts and know that the sacrifices you make will pay out immensely when you see your dream come true.  I promise you,  it will.

"Complacency"

I often wonder about this destructive little word.  It stops growth, deters, and creates imaginary roadblocks.  To settle into a routine is like letting sand pass through the hour glass.  Routines are good but married to complacency can cause stagnation.  It reminds me of mold growing on forgotten vegetables in the refrigerator.  At one time you bought the vegetables to eat with your dinner, the goal= eat healthier, more well balanced meals, better food for the body.  It is like putting in premium gasoline vs. the 87 octane.  The engine runs smoother cleaner and the life of the car possibly longer.  Goals are like the vegetables in your refrigerator making your life richer, deeper, more enjoyable.  Complacency is the mold...it will ruin your vegetables, stop your goals from being achieved. 

The antidote for complacency is ACTION.  Secret formula:  6 X 1= Achievement
Six times a week for 1 hour a day will give you 312 hours towards your goal.  What can't be achieved in that amount of time?

"To choose action, to choose commitment, to choose determination, is to choose a life filled with premium gasoline and a refrigerator filled with fresh vegetables."

The Metaphors of Life?

I have recently been in love with the metaphors I am uncovering in my life.  Sometimes I find looking at where I am currently or not can help me shift my perspective on what can be.  Is it a whirlpool I am swimming in or a body of water with two islands looming in the distance?  With perseverance will my view become clearer?  What seems to be blocking me?  Is it big, what does it smell like, what energy does it exude and if I were to push it aside what is on the other side?  Isn't life kind of like a grocery aisle of cereal boxes, today I want Lucky Charms but tomorrow I may want Kashi Go Lean Crisp.  The more I know why I chose Lucky Charms the closer I will be to that island.  What is the cereal you chose and what made you choose it?

"When you were 10 you held the secret to your passion."

You have just turned the double digit number.  Not only is this a big birthday but you also hold a lot of the secrets you later in life will yearn for.  When you were 10, you played, you dreamed, you weren't type casted, you were 100% authentic.  In my coaching practice, many of the answers my clients find are when they think back to this time period of 4th and 5th grade.   The passions have already presented themselves whether it is building with legos (engineer, architect), playing with dolls (possible teacher, nurse), animals (possible vet), and the list goes on.  Going back to this age can unlock a lot of answers.  If you are missing play in your life what did you love doing as a child?  The passions you have today grew from the seeds you planted as a child.

"When the student is ready the teacher will present themselves."

"The World is Waiting for YOU"

As I embark on my certification journey for coaching, time and time again I am reminded how precious life is and how important it is that we find our passion.  So often I feel people give up, surrender, and succumb to the daily grind with utter acceptance.  "My job  pays the bills."  "I don't have a choice."  etc.  But there is one thing that I know we all do have it is a... CHOICE.  A choice to choose or not too.  The world awaits and yearns for those to find their passion.  Imagine for a second if everyone of us found our passion.  How beautiful our world would become.

I do not believe in recreating the wheel, so I must defer to Marianne Williamson who says it best:

            "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves,  "who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?"  Actually who are YOU NOT TO BE?

YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD.   Your playing small does not serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.  We were born to manifest the glory that is within us.  And as we let our light shine we unconsciously give other people the permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

"New"

New day, new you, new opportunities, new challenges, new obstacles, new choices, new sun, new sunset, new friends, new thank-you's, new seconds, new minutes, new hours, new........
Every day is new, live it to the fullest and seek out as much NEW as you can.

"Every NEW refreshes the soul and reminds us of the power of life."